20,000 Years Old

“Mr. Johnson,” said the reporter, “You were not among the first to become immortal, but you are currently the oldest human in the Universe, is that correct?"

"For all intensive purposes, yes,” he nodded.

”You were also among the largest group to attain immortality during the First Singularity about 20,000 years ago."

"Yes, the technology became so cheap it was practically free, so almost all humans became immortal back then."

"So odds were the survivors from that group would be around the longest?"

"That sounds about right,” Mr. Johnson nodded, “I guess."

"What happened to the secret of immorality later?"

"Well, after the… happening, all the machines were gone. It was a crazy time, and we had to figure out all the stuff around us. Most of it was just abandoned because we could not use it or could not fix it. As for immortality… I don’t know how you make somebody immortal. Nobody did."

"So the secret of immortality was lost?"

"Oh, it was rediscovered a few times I think. There were other waves of immortals, as you know, but I had a head start on all of them,” Mr. Johnson laughed noiselessly at his own joke.

”So how old are you exactly?"

"I don’t really know."

"And what about your life in Fiorina? What do you do?"

"I work at the Irrigation Planning Office. Have been doing it ever since I remember. Different worlds, different bosses, same job."

"You must be an expert by now."

"There isn’t that much to learn, really. You create blueprints based on the area, the humidity, the terrain. I had my six-month training when I first started. At least, I assume I did. Anyway, the software changes from time to time, and the regulations change all the time, but other than that it’s a steady job. And that’s what counts."

"What about children. You must have had thousands."

"Nah. I had three kids. Once you go through all that, you don’t want to go back. Plus there’s never a good time these days."

"It must have been terrible to see people you love waste away while you continue. Always young,” the reporter said, and the camera man prepared for a closeup of tears.

”Not so bad. Besides, their children and their children’s children, and so on… The family goes on, right?"

"So do you keep in touch with millions of relatives?”

Mr. Johnson grinned and shrugged.

”Are you married?"

"No."

"Seeing anyone?"

"Not at the moment."

"Is it a weird feeling to think that the girl you’re dating is probably related to you.”

Mr. Johnson blinked in disbelief, then after a minute he said “I never thought of that."

"Do you mind if I ask you about finance? You must have amassed a fortune, so why the modest apartment?"

"Actually, I am okay. I get by month to month, but when I try to save some money, something always comes up. It’s either a trip, or my car breaks down. I retired a few times, but that’s not for me. I need something to do.”

The reporter blinked nervously a few times. “Well, thank you for the conversation, Mr. Johnson. Is there anything else you wanted to say?"

"Huh? Oh, right, yes.” he cleared his throat, “When I want a hearty breakfast, I go for Nature Fresh Cheese. It’s nature’s treasure in a tube."

"Yum, you’re making me hungry,” said the reporter.

Posted by: Paweł Kowaluk