A Background Character

I wish magic items were possible in life. Key items that move the plot forward, or allow us to overcome obstacles. Like a magic knife all covered in runes that can pierce dragon hide, or a potion that makes you float up to the windows of some ancient library nobody has been able to enter for ages. I know what you are going to say, I play too many video games. Read too many fantasy novels. My girlfriends always says that.

Ex-girlfriend. I was up late sitting on the couch playing a video game, really into it, when she came back from her office Christmas party. She was surprised to see me. She was slightly drunk.

”Hey babe,” she said, “You still up? I imagined you would be asleep when I got home."

"Yeah, I’m almost done with the Valurian campaign,” I told her. I always told her stuff about my games, even though I had the feeling she would not care. She was always kind and understanding. Always listened through. And she knew this particular campaign was very difficult and very important to me.

We talked about nothings as she went in and out of the bathroom, brushing her teeth and changing into her pajamas. Then she sat next to me on the couch. She brushed my hair back. I hit pause and sat so I could face her. She was a little drunk which meant this could be one of those rare occasions when she initiated sex. But it was not.

She put her hands on my puny shoulders. “My sweet man,” she said, “Do you see yourself as a protagonist?"

"We are all protagonists of our lives,” I said.

”I know. But if this was a movie, would you be the main character?"

"Perhaps if it was a Woody Allen movie,” I said. She did not smile.

”Perhaps then?” she mused, “No, I don’t think so. No, not really."

"Well then,” I said.

”Well,” she said, “I might be. Now, when I am still young and full of energy. But I cannot be your wife and still be the main character."

"Wife? Whoa, baby, slow down,” I tried to joke, but neither of us was in the mood.

”I don’t want to get stuck here."

"Stuck, huh? I get stuck all the time,” I said, “In my games."

"In games, you say?"

"In games,” I echoed like an automaton. It was over. The next couple of weeks of us trying to save our relationship were perfunctory and uninspired. They were just delaying the inevitable.

I wish magic items could advance the plots of our lives. I wish background characters could level up to become protagonists.

Posted by: Paweł Kowaluk