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Chaz and Melissa were having brunch by the marina. The food was: shrimp cocktails, California rolls, tuna tataki, seaweed salad, grilled teriyaki salmon, vegetable tempura. The conversation was:

“I saw a spider in the shower yesterday,” said Chaz, “I let it scoot before I ran the water. Poor guy does not deserve to die in a watery grave."

"You did good by him,” said Melissa, “He’s like a room mate. He eats the flies and helps out in a general way. As much as he can contribute."

"Or she,” said Chaz.

”Yeah, I’ve seen him. It’s a he. A daddy long legs, I think."

"Daddy long legs is not a spider,” said Chaz, “I think.”

They both got to their phones and searched for a little bit. They both came back with smiles.

”You were right,” said Melissa with a meek smile, “It’s a completely different group of animal."

"That was just a hunch, I had to check to make sure,” said Chaz with a gracious smile.

And so on, until all the food was gone and they were ready to leave. The day was pretty and sunny, so they decided to take a walk to Regent Park and sit on the grass. On their way there, they stopped at a crossing, waiting for the walk signal. Suddenly, there was series of loud crashes and they saw a car had just flipped over. There was glass and spilled liquids everywhere, and there was a man in the smashed vehicle. It was a terrible scene to behold.

They got out their phones to see what should be done. Prompted by the tutorial, Chaz called the ambulance. They dispatch lady told him to hold on, as there had been a series of crashes on the interstate, but help would be there as soon as possible. Meanwhile, Melissa was trying to determine the the state of the man.

”I don’t think he’s breathing,” she said, and then looked at her phone. “Risking spinal damage and all, we should stimulate blood flow with CPR and make sure there is oxygen being delivered to the brain. Otherwise it will die."

"A life without brain is not worth living,” said Chaz, as he was dragging the man out onto the pavement and to a safe distance away from the car. Right away, Melissa proceeded to CPR, while Chaz kept looking at his phone, and then back at the man.

”I think he needs a tracheotomy,” he said, and performed a field tracheotomy with a pen. “Lifehacking,” he said with a worried smile.

”The pulse is back,” said Melissa.

”Good,” said Chaz, “We would not be able to fibrillate him out here if it was needed."

"We could use the car battery as a makeshift power source,” said Melissa, looking at her phone, “There’s a whole tutorial here.”

The man began to regain natural color, as far as they could see under all the blood, so they monitored his state and waited for help to arrive. About an hour later, after they talked to the paramedics and the police, they were free to enjoy the rest of their day.

”After we’re bored with the park,” said Melissa looking at her phone, “We could get smoothies from Domingo’s. It’s a smoothies truck that’s going to be by the park in a couple of hours."

"And then there’s an open air jazz thing at Bachman Square,” said Chaz.

They smiled at each other and kissed warmly. One of the eight things you can do to keep your marriage alive.

Posted by: Paweł Kowaluk